Just a thought…..
I’ve heard the expression, “dead end relationship” or “dead end marriage” several times this week. I’ve typically used this description for jobs that have zero capacity to excel or advance through the ranks so to speak. Or…. a dead end street. Relationships, whether marital or not, have a kazillion ways to evolve & excel. Where are relationships traveling to for them to reach a dead end? Who was navigating? What were the unreached goals or brick walls qualifying them as dead end? What were their destinations? Were there ever any set goals & plans implemented to achieve them? Some common goals such as purchasing a home; starting a family; plan for retirement; are often just following a path laid out by millions. Why is there so much pressure for relationships to become anything? Why isn’t the relationship journey simply enjoyed? Why does claiming relationships are a dead end provide a ticket to walk away from it? Or… justify sin?
What about personal development; trust; loyalty; fidelity; weathering storms of life together? Wedding vows elude to two people becoming one. Scriptures guide & direct us toward dissolving individual relational motives & becoming one flesh as if to live in a symbiotic culture. There are direct commands about how to accomplish this.
the two will be one. So they are no longer two but one. – Mark 10:8
If a relationship is a “dead end” which one caused it? If the two are now one, who’s fault is it? One flesh concepts make blame shifting inconceivable. I guess I have a completely different perspective, but…… relationships grow as we grow or regress as we do. I learned this the hard way, but it was a lesson well learned.
Who’s responsible to assure this doesn’t happen? Is it only the wife? Or just the husband? Or is it a mutual responsibility? Marriage or relationships aren’t 50-50. It’s 100-100.
As a single adult, who still loves the idea of marriage, hearing relationships rated as “dead end” saddens me. For anything to remain viable or alive, it has to be nourished & maintained. Often times a plant becomes root bound & no longer grows or thrives. Other times a fungus or even bacterial growth in soil leads to poor nutrition. Then parasites can wreak havoc too. Determining root causes of any condition is critical before healing & restoration can occur. What are the root causes of a “dead end” relationship? Who’s responsible for mending the problem? Who tills the soil? Who repots the “plant” to ensure continued growth & development?
Mutuality is the standard answer. Allowing the one who has created relationships since the dawn of time to lead, guide & direct your path is the ultimate answer. Remember…. He gave His most precious gift to reconcile man back to Himself. Reconciliation is His specialty.
Nurture those you love. Allow God to heal your relationships. Embrace the moments. Enjoy the journey.