Happy Valentines Day to YOU! Reading all the amazing notes revolving around this beautiful day has been so sweet! I love to see the variety of gifts given as expressions of love & adoration. During our DivorceCare Connect Group last night I specifically addressed this day with our participants. It can be a painful reminder of what you don’t have, rejection, blame, self-loathing, & even depression. For many years I would confess, “I’m getting roses this year!” I’ve only received roses one time in my entire life & that was when my son, Bryce, was born. Nevertheless, after my divorce, I would say this consistently every year as I worked at the hospital. On Valentines Day, 1995, I did the same thing. To my surprise I received a cute basket of mixed flowers from an anonymous admirer! Who were they from? Could it be? There was, Earl, a physical therapist I had grown very close to. We developed an excellent professional relationship & became friends. I would have enjoyed going out with him, but at that time, I wouldn’t have dared asked him to join me for coffee! When I received the flowers his reaction was jealousy, but not to the point of asking me out! Darn it! Who then were the flowers from? Here’s my theory! I had the best co-workers ever & I believe they pitched in out of pity & respect, mostly pity & purchased them! I was so excited & appreciated the gesture. In preparation for today I looked in the eyes of each person in my group last night & told them this.
Happy Valentine’s Day!!
Please remember……You are so beautiful! You are loved very deeply.
The Lord, your maker, is your husband & He is an amazing companion, YOU are the apple of His eye & He thinks about you continuously! He loves you beyond words & wrote a book filled with loving thoughts & encouragement for you. He is the lover of your soul!!
Even through reading all the mushy-gushy social media posts, for some reason there have been 2 specific words that have resonated over & over in my heart. Not sure as to why they are captivating my attention, but in light of seeing all the beautiful relationships being affirmed, I know there are just as many, if not more, that aren’t. BTW…if you’re an English major, please apply grace to my use of commas! Here are the 2 words & their meaning:
com·pla·cen·cy – noun \kəm-ˈplā-sən(t)-sē\
a feeling of being satisfied with how things are and not wanting to try to make them better : a complacent feeling or condition; self-satisfaction especially when accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies
ap·a·thy – noun \ˈa-pə-thē\
Apathy is most commonly defined as a lack of feeling, emotion, interest, or concern. It is a state of indifference, lethargy, or the suppression of emotions such as concern, excitement, motivation and/or passion.
An apathetic individual has an absence of interest in or concern about emotional, social, spiritual, philosophical and/or physical life and the world.
In mentoring single adults, primarily separated or divorced, these words are very applicable. We sabotage our relationships with actions of any/all of the words above & wonder what went wrong. My heart is grieved to see this. One of my favorite sayings is, “What it took to get her/him is what it will take to keep her/him.” Once the relationship is solidified is not the time to drop our guard, but rather to ramp up & grow in every area possible. I knew certain skills when I graduated from nursing school & was even licensed to do so. After 25 years in the field, I gained tremendous wisdom that could never have been taught/learned during the education process. Learning is a lifetime commitment & should be expected / practiced daily. If we’re not learning, we’re regressing. The results gained are worth the investment.
I’m an advocate of performing regular self evaluations. I encourage you to read the definitions above, search every area of your life & determine if they exist. IF they do…..please seek guidance in how to flip the coin to become a compassionate, concerned, involved, motivated, person interested in the well being of others & aware of current situations / circumstances.
I can’t imagine going through life without aspirations, goals, dreams or expectations & you shouldn’t either!!! YOU are a one of a kind masterpiece & deserve to enjoy your life to the fullest. Think of how many others you can help direct along the correct path! The ripple would be non-existent without the stone!
Happy Valentines Day Blessings,
2.17.14 PS….I have to add something! I received roses! Well…sort of! I cooked gumbo during our one day snow blitz last week. Being from Louisiana, I cook real, authentic Cajun gumbo & usually only cook it traditionally for our family Christmas. It’s truly a labor of love! Around that time an older gentleman that my daughter, Summer, works with had mentioned the next time I cook gumbo, he would like some. When it snowed again, I wanted it! I sent gumbo & rice in my recycled LouAna Coconut Oil & Dukes Mayo jars! This is what he reciprocated in return! Such a sweet, pleasant gesture! Maybe I should upgrade to glass jars next time! LOLOLOL!
Roses for gumbo!